Impulsestorm :: :: Social Classification 101

It is widely known that all high schools are separated into distinct social groups. Although it is quite common to see these groups spill over into each other, they can still be distinguished by their style of clothing and verbal diction. Now, it is expected that the majority of you will immediately think ?Hey! I?m unique and I don?t fit in to a social group!? Well, I?m here to tell you that you do, and that there isn?t a whole lot you can do about it.

We start of with the most classic clich?, the jocks and the cheerleaders. This particular breed of social standing can be found primarily around the quad area. Their hobbies include playing sports in which males pound each other, and females cheering them on as they do it. Other areas of expertise include being mean to lower social classes and creating massive amounts of litter. Styles range from clothes featuring popular clothing company logos for boys, and jeans and shirts that reveal far, far too much for girls.

Moving on, it is only logical that we move to the exact opposite of the social spectrum, the geeks/nerds. It should be known that there is a very distinct difference between the two: in order to be a nerd, one must posses a certain intelligence level. That is, one can be a geek and not be smart. Geeks can be found scattered around campus, particularly concentrated in front of the student store. Nerds can be found in any open classroom during lunch. Geek hobbies include laughing at things that nobody else finds funny and doing things that, well, nobody else finds funny. Nerd hobbies include studying and studying. (It should be noted that the writer classifies himself in the ?geek? category.)

The next group of people is one that I find spills into the most other categories: The stoners. This class is notorious for their long hair and lethargic demeanor. One may hear phrases from the prototypical stoner such as ?Dude,? and ?sweet.? Although many of them posses very high IQ?s, they are often limited to monosyllabic words from extended use of the drug marijuana. Stoners can be insightful creatures, frequently shedding light on things in life that are overlooked or under examined. Their persistence in trying to convince you that marijuana is the greatest thing on this green earth is unparalleled. They can be spotted just about everywhere.

Well, that?s all for this edition of Social Classification 101. If you?re wondering why you don?t fit in to any of these classes, fear not! The next edition will feature part two, where we delve into punkers, emo people, the preps, and my personal favorite, the self-proclaimed individual.

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